The Backyard Barbecue Rule.

As I prepare for a presentation to a mixed group of social media veterans and newbies, I'm pulling up an adage I've used for a while. I'm almost always asked about social media etiquette—what's appropriate to say, what's not.

"It's a digital backyard barbecue," I tell them. "The tone is casual. The style is anything but uptight. The grammar is imperfect, and that's okay. The people there want to talk about things that are interesting and fun. And, perhaps most importantly, anything you won't say at your neighbor's barbecue, don't say it in social media." 

For example, don't talk about work all the time. Who wants to hear that at a barbecue?

Don't sell things. Would you walk over to the neighbor's house, meet their friends and start handing out business cards and asking for appointments? You could. But don't expect to invited back. When you do the equivalent on Twitter, prepare to be "un-followed".

So how can we use social media for business? The backyard barbecue rule.

Can you talk about your next corporate event? Yes. And do it in a way that's accepted at the barbecue. If someone asks what you've been working on, tell them about the event and share any genuine enthusiasm ... emphasis on the genuine part. Sharing that same genuine enthusiasm in Twitter or Facebook is completely accepted, just like it's accepted at the barbecue.

Being genuine is the key, because—like most party-goers—your "friends" and "followers" will spot a fake. At that point, it's unlikely that anyone will object to you directly ... you just won't be invited to the next barbecue.