Presence of mind (and customer).

True story that starts off like a joke:

My stepmother walks into a bank. 

This isn't just any bank. It's the place she's banked at for years. She remembers the tellers there. They remember her. This time she needs to open an account so she's meeting with someone new, the branch manager. 

After a short wait she's invited into her office and things start off well. She's thanked for coming. When asked the purpose of her visit she's assured it will be quick and easy. 

Then it happened. The phone rang. 

The banker politely asked to be excused while she took the call. My stepmother sent a smiling nod then listened to her host relay a series of instructions to what seemed to be another bank employee. 

"Sorry about that," the banker said hanging up the phone. "So where were we?"

My stepmother was accommodating. But as she continued a teller walked in with a question. The banker was quick to focus on the interruption. 

Then the phone rang again. Of course the banker took the call. 

At this point, my stepmother saw where she stood. Though she wasn't in line, technically, she was last in line when it came to priorities. 

She politely motioned to the banker and mouthed that she would come back when the banker had more time. The banker was shocked (yep). She seemed completely confused. Even perturbed. 

Questions:

Does your team protect you and your client from interruption when you're in personal meetings?

Does your team respect the distinction between questions and emergencies?

Do you silence your phone for in-person meetings?

Sometimes words get a bad rap. And by rap I mean rap sheet. It's like they somehow landed in a group of the wrong friends and got swayed into doing things they should not be doing. But it's not entirely their fault. For me one of those words is "sorry." I used it a lot. Perhaps abused it at times. And by abuse I mean using the word sorry to actually fix. Sorry doesn't fix anything. Never. Ever. Sorry is an opener. It means, "Hey, I'm about to fix this and here's what I'm going to do." It's a waiter at a restaurant who will never cook your great meal but will introduce it to you and describe its contents. Sorry has little substance yet tremendous importance. Granted, when people use the word and never actually to the mending they promised, sorry gets a bad rap. But it's not sorry's fault it got abused. Sorry is still important ... even if a few bad apples tried to spin it otherwise. Try it. But mean it. Your life will be better, I promise.

In iceberg's defense.

So my sister (who saved Christmas, but that's another story) told me I needed to give iceberg another chance. Not the big floating mountains that sunk the Titanic, the lettuce. 

Lettuce, as far as I know, has never sunk a ship like icebergs and loose lips, yet instead of calling it loose lips lettuce we chose iceberg. I don't know who made this decision, but I imagine it was a person who enjoyed ironic nomenclature. Kind of like calling a fat guy Slim. 

"It's the only lettuce with crunch," she argued. 

"It has no nutritional value," I countered. 

Then I realized I was arguing nutritional value and suddenly found myself on the wrong side of the argument. 

I love crunch. 

In all of my healthy eating pursuits I have found very little crunch. What's with that?

Junk food OWNS crunch. Doritos. Cheetos. Hell, even rice cakes (with questionable nutritional value) have crunch. Why does it seem like every food that's good for us is soft as soup but every food that's going to kill us is delightfully crisp?

Don't get me wrong, bad-for-us-food also owns the soft food segment. I'm from south Louisiana, so along with the multicultural Americana food mix of chili, Stromboli (my phone felt the need to capitalize that), potatoes au gratin, hamburgers and cheesy fries, I'm surrounded by gumbo, boudin and countless other savory creations. 

But who owns the crunch?

In the healthy category, where's my crunch? I guess I could eat a pickle, but the sodium count gets precarious. (Pickle in a pouch is another story ... but don't buy one no matter how hungry you are in a gas station ... trust me. Nothing but kangaroos should come in a pouch.)

Lately I'm left dipping a celery stick in sun butter. But today, I had a salad with iceberg lettuce. And it was so crunchy. 

Thanks Abi.